How To Approach Women With Confidence
One of the great paradoxes of attraction is that you want a lady to like you, yet you can't just ask her.
When she figures out you want something from her (a date, a one-night stand, etc. ), you've already surrendered all control and killed the sexual tension.
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For most males, getting out of this sticky scenario is a major stumbling block, but it's not as difficult as it appears. If you're in the same boat as me, let me explain.
The first thing you must realise is that successfully communicating with women entails being adept at dealing with people in general. In other words, it's all about being a "people person."
But what precisely does that imply? It all comes down to a person's ability to elicit POSITIVE emotions. That's the core formula for making people – especially attractive ladies – like you.
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The issue is that most men attempt this and fail terribly. Check out your neighbourhood pub to see how many poor schmucks are attempting to entice the girls with a margarita or making some inane comment about how attractive they are.
The issue with this strategy is that it is based on neediness, or needing SOMETHING in exchange for being a "good man."
I can guarantee you that if you approach from this direction, women will smell it a mile away.
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Let me suggest another technique to approach women that doesn't make you look like a miserable sap: simply be there to enjoy her company, regardless of whether she rejects you.
Guys who appear to be jerks to other men are successful with women because they aren't as invested in the outcome of a conversation as they are with other men.
They're only there to have a good time with a female, no matter what her "ultimate verdict" is. And the irony is that this works to their advantage because his purpose isn't to sleep with her immediately away (although that would be a nice bonus somewhere down the line).
Finally, the "jerk" gets the lady because she can't get enough of having fun with him. Remember that "FUN" is the key word here because it connotes joyful feelings.
Giving people this natural high is, in the end, a sure-fire way to gain social approval.
While it's preferable to be spontaneous rather than rely on a script (trying to memorise a bunch of manufactured lines will make you look odd), it's still critical to remember this guiding concept.
For example, don't approach a girl and merely tell her how attractive she is before proceeding to offer her favourite alcoholic beverage. This will not miraculously improve the debate.
As I previously stated, expecting woman to like you in exchange for an ego boost or material fulfilment will not get you any brownie points. Sure, building up the courage to approach her is the first step, but you don't earn a medal for that.
According to the paradox, the more you desire something from someone, the less likely they are to offer it to you.
Use your intellect and steer the topic away from pleading for her affections. And the "something" in question would be a mental test.
Don't be scared to make some harmless fun of a woman. A little verbal jousting won't hinder your chances; in fact, winding her up in a positive way will make her like you more.
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That implies you can make jokes about a lady as long as you don't mention her body or demean her in any way. You'll be OK other from that.
Learning to have fun with women, on the other hand, may not be easy for some males. When a man is overly reliant on a girl's approval to feel good about himself, it becomes difficult for him to approach women for the sake of a discussion.
Treating people as a source of validation and self-worth is where neediness arises. Women, understandably, avoid men who behave in this manner.
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Consider this: you wouldn't want to be friends with someone who contacted you solely because you were really wealthy and needed anything from them.
You'd know they've had something else on their mind and don't truly regard you as someone they want to be friends with. If all they want is money, you'd probably urge them to get a job and quit sucking up to you.
Similarly, you cannot expect women to compensate for any shortcomings in your life. If you feel something is missing in your life, you can take charge of it by making it more meaningful.
Get out there and enjoy your life to the fullest. You won't become a social wizard overnight just by memorising a bunch of cheesy pick-up lines to use on ladies.
It all starts with broadening your horizons in order to become a well-rounded individual. Your social circle will naturally expand as a result of this, as will your level of confidence around others.
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You'll become a lot less needy around ladies over time. That's because your life is enough to make you feel good about yourself from the inside out, regardless of your relationship situation.
You can't offer what you don't have, as the saying goes.
