What Should You Do After You've Been in A Relationship?
We've talked a lot about meeting ladies and going out with them so far. But what happens once you've effectively applied the principles you've learnt and found yourself in a relationship with a woman?
Do you just sit back and wait for the cards to fall your way? Isn't it true that the most difficult portion is over?
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A reality check is in order!
You shouldn't expect things to work out on their own just because she agreed to be in a relationship with you.
You must be aware of the healthy and unhealthy behaviours that can damage your relationship if you want to keep it going strong for the foreseeable future. As a result, you'll need to acquire some key attitudes.
The good news is that you've done admirably thus far, so keep being the amazing guy you are.
Just remember to keep the following pointers in mind:
#1: Continue to enjoy your life.
When something fresh and interesting enters your life, it tends to quickly fill your calendar.
You won't realise it, but you'll find yourself devoting a significant amount of time to this new aspect of your life - whether it's a new hobby, a new career, or meeting an incredible woman you can't get enough of.
However, as with everything else in life, you should enjoy your relationship in moderation. If you spend TOO much time with your girl, it can throw off the balance of your other priorities, such as family, friends, and profession.
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Your friends, for example, are likely to resent you if you frequently abandon them or suddenly stop doing the things you used to do together. Sure, it's fine for you to spend LESS time with your pals, but don't go too far and cut them out totally.
Besides, don't you think your girl will be a little uncomfortable if you follow her around like her shadow all the time?
Allow your relationship to breathe a little and attend to your other responsibilities, as tempting as it is to spend every waking minute to your sweetheart.
#2: Maintain your identity.
So, a relationship is supposed to assist you in growing as a person and changing in new and positive ways. However, you're doing it incorrectly if you're transforming into someone who can't exist without their partner.
When it comes to your personal issues, there's nothing wrong with periodically asking your girl for her opinion. Just don't give her complete control all of the time.
Whether it's your profession, a personal situation, or deciding which movie to see tonight, you should never lose sight of your own particular voice.
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It is not stated anywhere that entering into an exclusive, committed relationship with another person entails relinquishing all personal authority and allowing your spouse to plan your life.
Losing your ability to function as an autonomous adult is, if anything, unappealing. Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, you must be mature enough to care for yourself; being a man-child will harm your relationship in the long term.
#3: Avoid "Fatal Attraction Syndrome"
Many men, I've seen, have a tendency to get obsessive about their relationships, to the point of constantly bothering their girl to verify her emotions for him.
Maybe you're certain you're over over heals in love with your woman, and you naturally want her to feel the same way.
But you can't make her do it under duress, can you? People can't feel something merely because someone tells them to; they must cultivate their own emotions.
What some guys don't realise is that anything worthwhile, especially a relationship, takes time to develop.
Your girl will appreciate it if you take a step back and let her make her own decision instead of "hovering" over her.
It's not the same as exchanging vows at the altar just because she decided to enter into a relationship. She's still finding things out, just like you, so keep that in mind when you express your feelings to her.
Sure, you can tell her how beautiful she is and how passionate you are about her — as long as you do so within reason. Don't gush over her in a backhanded attempt to get her to agree with you. She may or may not reciprocate right away, so keep your calm if she isn't ready to commit just yet.
Otherwise, if you're overly forceful, things could quickly devolve. The combination of a demanding attitude and the two other no-nos we discussed leads to becoming borderline OBSESSIVE about your female and the relationship.
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This is frightening to her. This method should be avoided because it will make her feel imprisoned and, worse, want out of the relationship.
All of this adds up to the concept of BALANCE when viewed in its entirety. Giving equal amounts of attention to the various aspects of your life is crucial to establishing a successful relationship.
"A watched pot never boils," as the proverb goes, implying that focusing TOO much on a relationship prevents it from organically growing.
You can't give it steroids or anything else to make it grow faster. Give yourself and your girl the possibility to have full lives both separately and jointly by having faith in yourselves.
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You're showing your girl that you're a well-adjusted adult who doesn't rely on a relationship for affirmation or to feel whole as a person by adopting this mentality into your relationship.
And in the long run, THAT will make you significantly more appealing to her. So go ahead and have fun with your girl - just make sure you know what your limits are.
