How to Talk to Women in the Right Way
So you've looked on the internet or gone to your local bookshop in search of the best technique to chat to ladies.
Then you came across some literature that claimed to make the ladies fall in love with just a few well-chosen sentences.
Well, I've been there and done it myself when I was first starting out in the dating world.
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Yes, it worked for me – but only to a limited extent.
Learning pre-packaged stuff may help you get your foot in the door, but the longer you rely on predetermined routines learned from the "seduction community," the more it becomes a crutch – and you begin to appear LESS authentic in the eyes of a female.
When it comes to talking to that beauty who caught your attention, you'll have to break the umbilical chord and think outside the box sooner or later.
However, if you want a broad concept of how males from those internet message boards do it, a quick walkthrough isn't going to hurt.
Furthermore, as you gain more expertise in the dating industry, you'll be able to personalise your approach by including your own peculiarities and strategies.
So, to get the ball rolling with a girl, the first thing you need learn about is "ice breakers."
Tip #1: Use icebreakers to get the conversation started.
Ice breakers, as the name implies, are a unique approach to pique a girl's curiosity and get her chatting to you (e.g. by introducing an interesting subject).
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To get an idea, ask a female about "emotionally charged" issues like ex-boyfriends or relationships in general (also known as "chick crack"). These are the kinds of topics about which most women are eager to provide their two cents, so try your hand at breaking the ice with inquiries about them.
This is a line that a friend of mine recently attempted on a female and had a lot of success with:
"Excuse me, but I just needed a minute of your time to get a female perspective on something that has been bothering me... Would it be okay for your boyfriend to keep in close contact with his ex – as in Facebook friends close – if you were 100 percent sure they're just friends now??"
I was present when my friend made this remark to a bunch of women, so I gave him the excuse that we were having a debate about it. It went incredibly well because my friend's ice breaker drew them in and started a conversation.
Once you've started a conversation with your girl, it's time to shift gears and move on from the 'ice breaker' topic you started with.
Tip #2: Learn how to change topics in a discussion.
The second step is crucial: once you've gotten a girl chatting, SHIFT gears and let the conversation naturally flow to other topics.
As soon as he got things going with the group of women he had approached, my friend from above wisely moved on to other issues.
As I previously stated, you cannot rely on the ice breaker to carry you the rest of the way; otherwise, you will appear unoriginal and will blend in with the other males who have already approached her.
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Pre-rehearsed "conversational bits" are acceptable as long as they are used sparingly, such as to fill in awkward silences. Just make sure you're not giving yourself a false personality by utilising it all the time.
As I have stated, it is preferable to be original in the long term than than relying on lines as a crutch.
The trick is to actively LISTEN to the female you're talking to so you may comment on what she's saying or offer follow-up questions, rather than half-listening while attempting to come up with new conversation subjects in your head.
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The conversation will flow effortlessly if you simply relax and pay attention to her.
There's one more 'pick-up' technique you should be aware of — and avoid at all costs.
Tip #3: Don't be a 'neg'!
"Negging," which is just firing off a number of thinly veiled insults in the name of "witty wordplay," is a technique you should never utilise.
This is something I completely oppose because the whole goal of employing "negs" is to lower an attractive woman (or a "10," as pickup artists like to call her) "down to your level." Regardless of what that implies!
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In actuality, sliding an insult past a woman's defences isn't going to make you look sweet or charming. Your remark about her weight or appearance will almost certainly result in a well-deserved slap or the contents of her martini glass being flung in your face.
Sure, you've probably heard of other guys pulling off a "neg," but it's akin to a solider throwing a grenade without getting his hand blown off.
It's THAT dangerous, and you don't have to jeopardise a woman's respect for you simply to look horrible.
To summarise...
By only using pre-packaged pickup material as a lifeline, you won't be the guy who is naturally skilled at chatting to women. If you're not careful, it could easily snap.
If you need to, use it to get started, but as the conversation progresses, let your actual personality shine through.
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Keep in mind that in the real world, being a really intriguing guy means living a well-rounded life.
Having a wide range of hobbies gives you lots to talk about with a girl and keeps you from weirding her out with a fake personality that doesn't reflect the real you.
